Maintained by Alan D. Humbert
Attorney At Law
134 Main Street
Watertown, Massachusetts 02472

 "Lawyers typically aren't funny -- unless by accident.
 Case in point: The following questions from lawyers were
 taken from official US court records nationwide..."
 1)  Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
 2)  Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person
     dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes
     quietly away and doesn't know anything about it
     until the next morning?
 3)  Q: What happened then?
     A: He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because
        you can identify me.'
     Q: Did he kill you?
 4)  Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
 5)  The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
 6)  Were you alone or by yourself.
 7)  How long have you been a French Canadian?
 8)  Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
 9)  Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize
        that picture.
     A: That's me.
     Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?
 10) Were you present in court this morning when you were
     sworn in?
 11) Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage
     A: By death.
     Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
 12) Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
     A: I'll be three months on November 8.
     Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was
        August 8?
     A: Yes.
     Q: What were you doing at that time?
 13) Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally
     A: I used to be.
     Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
 14) So you were gone until you returned?
 15) Q: She had three children, right?
     A: Yes.
     Q: How many were boys?
     A: None.
     Q: Were there girls?
 16) You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what
     it looked like, but can you describe it?
 17) Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
     A: Yes.
     Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
 18) Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
     A: Not yet.
 19) A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of
     unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself
     and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next
 20) Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you
        examined the body of Mr. Edington at the rose
     A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about
        8:30 p.m.
     Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that
     A: No, you stupid, he was sitting on the
        table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!
 for these transcripts)
New jokes will be introduced periodically to The Lawyer's Joke Corner.  
If you would like to contribute a joke, send it along.
Page 2 of The Lawyer's Joke Corner
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Revised September 4, 2006